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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27477148">After The Fall</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/SirRealArthurNudge/pseuds/SirRealArthurNudge'>SirRealArthurNudge</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dragon Age: Inquisition</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anger, F/M, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Melancholy, Pain, Reconciliation</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 19:42:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>19,156</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27477148</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/SirRealArthurNudge/pseuds/SirRealArthurNudge</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Lavellan and Thedas have lost. The Veil has fallen and the world is in chaos.<br/>In the aftermath, Lavellan has disappeared, hidden among her people as the mortal races attempt to survive among the devastation.<br/>When Solas finds her again, he discovers she's not quite alone. He's confronted with what seems to be an insurmountable choice, to finish his great work or hold on to what he's found. He'd prefer to have both.</p><p>For nnww2020 (as per your request! Now get off my computer)!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Female Lavellan/Solas</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>70</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>101</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Prologue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/nnww2020/gifts">nnww2020</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"It's too hot, Mamae. Can we just stop here?"<br/><br/>The taller of the two figures, both of whom were heavily swaddled against the whirling dust and ash that billowed over the dunes, stopped what had been its relentless march forward.<br/><br/>"I know, da'len," was her soft reply to the child at her side. "We are not too far now. Once we cross that last mountain," she said, crouching to the child's height and gesturing to the distant shadow that speared into the sky," then we'll be back at home."<br/><br/>"It's just... it seems so far."<br/><br/>"I know. But we'll get there. Now come along. We need to reach its base before sunset. Then we can set up camp and maybe I might just know where the Keeper has hidden some treats in our bags!"</p><p>That was enough of a spur and soon her son was toddling in the lead, his feet not sinking as far as hers in the dunes of sand, ash, and charcoal. The remnants of a war that played out in this place.<br/><br/>She'd known this land once as something far more beautiful. But her failure to stop the fall of the Veil, to stop the Armageddon that followed weighed heavily on her.</p><p>Ellana Levallan had been so young when she first had leadership thrust upon her. Barely even experienced enough or skilled enough to led her own clan expedition, let alone a shemlen Inquisition.</p><p>Tevinter had been her downfall. It had been the downfall of Thedas itself.</p><p>Faced with him... faced with the Dread Wolf and she had lived out every Keeper's warning since before even the Dales failed. She'd been led astray by him on what had been a maddening first love for her, and then she couldn't do it. She couldn't strike him down and so the world crumbled instead.</p><p>Now what remained of the mortal races were enclaved in the more devasted regions while the awakened and immortal elvhen played out their millennia length wars once more.</p><p>As she watched her boy scramble up eagerly the next dune, Ellana thought on the irony.</p><p>The Dalish and the other elves finally got the Dales back but at the expense of the world. It was mostly torched cinder now, as was most of Orlais. The Keepers were slowly bringing back life to the barren flats.</p><p>The Clans had reunited, the alienage populations rejoined; her people whole again such as it was after the devastation.</p><p>"Mamae! What are you doing?"</p><p>Ellana suddenly realized she'd stopped walking entirely in her reverie. She peered up at her boy who for all the coverings and maskings was still recognizable by curious head tilt and anxious feet.<br/><br/>"Sorry! I'm on my way!" she cheerily replied, attempting to put as much joy in her voice as possible.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>In the protective shadow of the mountain, Ellana set up camp for the night.</p><p>She leaned the thick hides and large wooden rods that served as their tent against the mountainside, creating a perfect spot in between for them both to rest.</p><p>As the sun went down and the temperatures went with it, Ellana set a small fire by the entrance and seated herself between it and the warm inner cavern protected from the light breeze.</p><p>Dinner was cooking, the wind and dust had calmed, and for brief moments she could even see the stars. Ellana glanced over at Sulahn'nehn, her joy, who was sitting cross-legged in the tent with a book in hand.</p><p>She'd cut his hair down to just stubble recently to help him cope with the heat on their journey but even that short length could not hide the ruddy auburn color of his hair. There was no mistaking who was his father, with dimpled chin and sharp jawline.</p><p>Not that she'd ever tell Sul. Or even dream of letting his father know, wherever in forsaken Thedas he was. That part of her life was done. In the immediate aftermath of the Fall, as it was now called, Ellana had been more focused on saving what she could. Her friends, her family, the burning cities, the devasted land...She had been nearly six months gone by the time she realized. It had been hard. Almost too hard. But looking at him now, all of seven years old and the repository of her hopes, dreams, and joy.<br/><br/>"Sul?" she called softly, smiling as his bright green eyes locked on her. "Dinner's ready. Could you get your bowl?"</p><p>"Sure!" was his reply, full of cheer that always brought a smile to his mother's face. A hearty meal of oats, dried fruit, and <em>halla</em> milk would fill them both up for the night. The majority Ellana gave to Sul. Food was scarce enough but the willingness of Ellana and others like her to cross the wastes to what was Ferelden to trade kept the clans going.</p><p>Ellana settled Sul in for the night, watching over him during the night while she waited for dawn. She would not sleep except for light naps until they reached home and safety.</p><p>Morning came all too quickly and found the pair crossing the mountain proper and slipping back into safer lands. The road to their home was clear now, a hardened dirt track that led through ancient and new ruins alike.</p><p>Here there was no need for masks and they both enjoyed the relative freedom as they trudged onwards. They drifted through the remains of a torched forest, her mind recalling how this was the place was once vibrant green and full of life. Creators willing, perhaps she'd see it that way once again with Sul.<br/><br/>"Mamae, was that place we crossed really called the Frostbacks?"<br/><br/>"It was."<br/><br/>"But why? There's no frost there."<br/><br/>Ellana bit back a smile. "It used to be full of snow and ice and terribly cold storms. More than you could dream of."<br/><br/>"What happened?"<br/><br/>"What happened to the world, ma da'len?"<br/><br/>Sul huffed. "Oh... you mean the Fall. Do you think that it might go back? To be that way?"<br/><br/>"I don't know, Sul. But... Deshanna might. If you ask nicely of course."<br/><br/>"Keeper doesn't lik- oh!! I think I see it! There's home!" Sul's excitement could barely be contained as he spotted the familiar dusty sails of the aravels, half-hidden by ruined stone walls and blackened trees.<br/><br/>"Come on then! Race you!" Ellana laughed as she slipped past him at a jog, giggling at the shouted complaints as Sul rushed to keep up.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>"How was it? Ferelden I mean. And your journey of course."<br/><br/>Ellana handed over the bag of supplies she'd picked up at the far side of the former Frostbacks. "Ferelden is much the same as I last saw it. I've no idea how their King Alistair has held his nation together but it is to his credit."<br/><br/>Deshanna glanced through the bag, noting all that she asked for and more. "Seeds too? There is hope yet then of recovery."<br/><br/>"We must always have hope," Ellana murmured, watching as Sul gestured wildly while reenacting some tall tale about his journey with his mother.<br/><br/>"I heard that King Alistair is in a geas. A bind with one of the Evanuris."<br/><br/>Ellana snorted. "I can't imagine which one."<br/><br/>"The Wolf."<br/><br/>She could feel her Keeper's eyes on her as her body went completely rigid. "I thought he was still fighting his way across old Elvhenan."<br/><br/>"They say he's nearly won his war and now seeks to expand his influence. They say he offers peace and reconciliation."<br/><br/>"Good for him. We wish for none of his tricks."<br/><br/>Deshanna placed the bag she held on the ground carefully. "His agents were here. In your absence."<br/><br/>That had Ellana's attention and she snapped her gaze away from Sul to her Keeper. "And? What were they after?"<br/><br/>"Oh, this and that. What clans were here, what specific one were we, that sort of thing... they seemed very interested when they discovered this small area was Lavellan."<br/><br/>"How interested?"<br/><br/>Deshanna avoided her gaze, instead turning her attention to Sul who was laughing and giggling with glee. "Very. Especially when they found out you lived. Not only lived but currently here with us."<br/><br/>Ellana sucked  in a few quick breaths, attempting to soothe her anger before it spawned into being thanks to the almost countless wisps that drifted around. "Why did you tell them? I... I told you. I asked you not to."<br/><br/>Deshanna, without looking, grabbed Ellana's hand. "I know, da'len. But you can't hide away forever. Sul can't hide either. We're struggling. Our People are struggling. Just yesterday I buried another child. Jonil's baby. Stillborn like the others. If we don't find a way out, our people will die. None will remember us or our ways. To survive, we must be ready to take risks."<br/><br/>Ellana closed her eyes tightly. "What was the offer?"<br/><br/>"Just talks for now. They organized a gathering. They wish to speak."<br/><br/>"You can't trust the Dread Wolf."<br/><br/>Deshanna sighed. "We can't trust the Creators either. We must take what advantages we can, da'len. That is why I... I hope you will come with us. Help us negotiate for what remains of our race."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Head above the Parapet</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Deshanna gazed at the sights with wonder.</p><p>"Magnificent!" she gasped as a flurry of magical lights rushed past as though they were a flock of birds. "What do you think, Ellana?"</p><p>"I think it's obscene," was the flat reply from the elf who had covered herself in a tatty cloak and hood.</p><p>She couldn't bring herself to be like the others in the delegation group, to sit in dumbfounded awe at the elvhen works as though they hadn't destroyed their world in the first place.<br/>
<br/>
"Ellana, I underst-"<br/>
<br/>
"You don't get to tell me what to think or feel. You have essentially sold me to them. The only reason I'm here is that you told them I lived! You might as well get your silvers worth for me."<br/>
<br/>
"Da'len, be reasonable. They'll likely already knew. Why else would they be so interested in our small clan?<br/>
<br/>
"Because he didn't know. I haven't dreamed in years, Keeper. I keep myself outside dreams as much as I can. I always thought that perhaps it would be the spirits in their jubilant unknowing ways that would betray my secret. I didn't think it would be my own people."<br/>
<br/>
Deshanna wisely decided to leave the conversation lie, spotting the wisps becoming agitated in their surroundings. Instead, she turned her gaze back on the glittering and decadent assembly before them.<br/>
<br/>
The elvhen don't do things by half and this gathering of speakers from each of the mortal races was one such affair.</p><p>Their magic had changed this small patch of wood and meadow into something wondrous. The trees grew with thick canopies of vibrant green. The grass was filled with so many wildflowers it was almost impossible to tell them apart from each other.</p><p>In the center, the elvhen had set up vast tents. Some to host the delegations, others as banquet hallways, and still others as exhibition halls for them to show off their skills and crafts.<br/>
<br/>
Everyone was entranced by it all. So many years of murky greys and desperate hardships had left them weakened in both body and resolve.</p><p>All bar one of course.</p><p>Ellana, seated in the back of the small wagon as she hid from the sun, was not among them. Anger and rage festered in her heart. But greater than any of those emotions was fear. Fear of discovery. Not for herself of course. That <em>halla</em> had long since bolted thanks to her Keeper. But of her joy.<br/>
<br/>
He was back at their camp, a day's travel towards the Frostbacks. Ellana had insisted. The Keepers had almost been more determined that he join them but she knew they couldn't stop themselves revealing him, using him as a pawn with Fen'Harel. She merely took him off the board as best she could for the moment.<br/>
<br/>
Ellana didn't blame them as such.<br/>
<br/>
She'd been the sum of every fear, every hushed story told by Keepers to children since the first fall. She was the one that the Dread Wolf led astray. And worse still... she had a child by him.<br/>
<br/>
</p>
<hr/><p><br/>
<br/>
As the cart rolled to a halt and the greetings began, Ellana kept her hood hanging over her head and her eyes focused on the ground.<br/>
<br/>
Her feet were bare, strapped with rag thick with dirt from the journey. To her faint amusement, Ellana looked more like a true apostate mage now than Solas ever had.<br/>
<br/>
The excited chatter began to ease off and the small crowd she found herself among began to move forward. Ellana allowed herself to go with the group, keeping herself as hidden as possible. She thought she'd done it. Thought that she was now just one of the many.<br/>
<br/>
Those thoughts were shattered as a firm hand grabbed her shoulder and dragged her out from the crowd. Before she could even react, her hood was yanked off and her eyes closed reflexively against the brilliant sunlight.<br/>
<br/>
"Inquisitor Lavellan. It has been some time."<br/>
<br/>
Ellana snorted as she recognized the almost monotone voice. "Are you still Sorrow? Or have you picked a new name instead of Abelas?" she replied as she carefully opened her eyes.<br/>
<br/>
Abelas had changed since the last she saw him. Standing imperiously at the last battle, with golden armor dented, scuffed, and bloodied. Now he stood in exquisite robes of white and gold with not a piece of armor insight. Not that he needed it, she realized. They were no threat to him now. Not to any elvhen. They were just the leftovers.<br/>
<br/>
"I have chosen a new one but you may continue to call me Abelas. I understand how confusing such things can be to your people."<br/>
<br/>
Ellana stepped back from him, biting back the pithy response she wanted to give in favour of saying nothing. It would do no good to fight here. She couldn't win anyway. Her hope lay in being so inconsequential that she could slip away into the night.<br/>
<br/>
Abelas seemed confused at her silence, his brow furrowing as she said nothing but stared blankly at him.<br/>
<br/>
"Lord Pride was most delighted to hear you lived," Abelas finally said to break the silence that had stretched almost indeterminately between them. "He journies here even now. I'm sure you will be glad to know that he was won many fine victories since you last met. And his influence stretches even further than when Elvhenan was at its height eons ago. Soon, all of Thedas shall be at peace."<br/>
<br/>
Ellana said nothing, merely shifting her gaze to the floor.<br/>
<br/>
"He wishes most earnestly to speak with you. I will have new attire sent to your quarters. And a bath is drawn, of course. I imagine you must dearly miss such comforts."<br/>
<br/>
"Abelas... I don't want any of it. Send nothing as I will only send it back or give it to those who covet it more," Ellana said softly. "Tell your Lord Pride that I have no desire to speak with him except as part of the Dalish delegation to these talks."<br/>
<br/>
She turned her now steely gaze from the floor to focus on Abelas whose own expression could only be described as being caught between wonder and horror.<br/>
<br/>
"I must rejoin my clan," Ellana added with a slight nod before she pushed past him entirely and scurried to join the small group waiting for her at the nearest entryway into their quarters.<br/>
<br/>
</p>
<hr/><p><br/>
She lay on the floor with only a few furs to cover her.<br/>
<br/>
Distantly Ellana could make out the noise from the banquet. The delegations feasting, laughing, and celebrating a new start. Hope was a powerful thing indeed. It could even cover the destruction of a world she mused.<br/>
<br/>
She rolled onto her back and stretched to ease the tense muscles along her spine. She refused to use the fine cots and beds, each piled high with pillows and rich fabrics. It felt like a betrayal. For all they had suffered, to reach here and just... give in. She didn't blame the others although she could not deny that a part of her inside wished to scream and shame them. In another life, perhaps she would have been the same.<br/>
Instead, she refused the banquet and food, choosing to eat the dried pieces of bread and fruits that sustained her over the years since the Fall.<br/>
<br/>
Ellana sighed before she dragged herself out of bed and began pacing in the poor cotton body wraps she had brought with her.<br/>
<br/>
Her restlessness was almost habitual at this stage. You always had to be aware. Always on guard. It was worse when Sulahn'nehn was a baby and the destruction of entire forests led to crisis after crisis for food stocks. Since then, she hardly ever slept and never dreamed. The bracelet around her wrist was a godsend for that, one she'd replicated for Sul to keep him safe and hidden too.<br/>
<br/>
She suddenly felt a chill run through her, her skin breaking out a rash of goose-pimples.<br/>
<br/>
Before she could even react to the shiver that coursed her body, Ellana realized someone was in the room with her.<br/>
<br/>
"Ellana."<br/>
<br/>
Her heart rattled almost out of control in her chest. He was behind her, at the tent entrance. Ellana instinctively wrapped her arms around herself. "Fen'Harel", she answered without turning around.<br/>
<br/>
The faint rustle of fabric reached her ears, He was moving. What direction she did not know.<br/>
<br/>
"I.. I don't believe there are words in any tongue that could describe how I felt when I received word that you may be alive."<br/>
<br/>
He said those words so softly, filled with such warmth, that Ellana could almost for a moment believe the feeling behind them was real. But it wasn't, she knew. So she remained silent and still. Let the Wolf carry out his inspection.<br/>
<br/>
"It's clear to me that... that you've suffered in our time apart," Solas continued. "Entirely my doing."<br/>
<br/>
Ellana blinked rapidly, clearing what threatened to leak from her eyes. There could be no weakness here. She caught sight of him from the corner of her right eye. He was so close, walking a circle around her. Inspecting. She rapidly dropped her gaze as he stopped directly in front of her.<br/>
<br/>
"Ellana... vhenan..." he sighed. "May I see your face?"<br/>
<br/>
Before she could protest, his right hand had already lifted her chin upwards and allowed him to scan her features. She kept her eyes averted. Ellana would not let him see into her soul, so afraid that maybe he'd see Sul there.<br/>
<br/>
"I wish I could have... This face and body has haunted my dreams but always as a marionette controlled by more malicious entities. Not by the unique soul I loved so dearly. How is it that you are here and yet I can't find you through the Fade?"<br/>
<br/>
"What does it matter?" she finally replied, jerking herself free of his gentle grip before turning away from him once more. "You've found me out. What are you here for?"<br/>
<br/>
"Did Abelas send over the new attire? The gifts? I have many such things that I've wished to give you. To show you. Once I found you again."<br/>
<br/>
"I want nothing. I shall accept nothing. Anything he sent was returned. Don't... don't call me vhenan."<br/>
<br/>
Silence followed that last sentence with that same feeling Ellana remembered from funerals of loved ones. Solas clearly felt it too as he merely replied, "I understand. Forgive me."<br/>
<br/>
Ellana bit back the tears that once more threatened. She sank back down on the makeshift bed she created the floor, seeing in her mind's eye Solas's unimpressed look on his face as she did so. Ellana was rejecting them and doing her best to show it. She stretched out on her back and gazed blankly at the tent roof.<br/>
<br/>
"The furnishings are not comfortable?"<br/>
<br/>
"I'm not capable of feeling comfort anymore," she replied.<br/>
<br/>
Solas took a seat on the bed that should have been hers. "What happened to you? After... everything."<br/>
<br/>
"I'm not doing this with you, Fen'Harel."<br/>
<br/>
"Doing what?"<br/>
<br/>
"Reminiscing," Ellana huffed, her ears picking up a particularly loud cheer from the banqueting hall. "If you're serious about peace, you should be with them."<br/>
<br/>
"I'm here with you. How have you kept away from the Fade? I've asked countless spirits of your fate and none could tell me. Or the few that did know refused outright."<br/>
<br/>
"I'd like to rest, Fen'Harel. It's been a long day. Could you leave?"<br/>
<br/>
Ellana rolled onto her side, showing her back to Solas. And so began another long protracted silence before Solas finally said, "Of course. I'll return in the morning."<br/>
<br/>
"You don't need to."<br/>
<br/>
"I wish to," he murmured, "At dawn's first light. I will station some protection at your tent."<br/>
<br/>
"Protection?" Ellana scoffed. "Or keeping a prisoner? Haven't you done enough, Wolf?"<br/>
<br/>
There was no reply as he slipped out of the tent. Before she could scramble to her feet in a desperate rush to escape, the hairs on her arms rose up as the familiar tingle of magic hit her.<br/>
He'd known what she'd do and had cast a barrier spell to contain her.<br/>
<br/>
"... shit!"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Betrayed By Her Own</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em>She's alive</em>, his mind roared. He'd seen her, touched her even. She lives!</p><p>Solas had schooled himself carefully over the years to hide whatever turmoil existed internally and this night was no exception.</p><p>As he walked carefully from the elaborate tent that contained Ellana, no one would have suspected that within him coursed jubilation and anxiety in equal measure.</p><p>She lived! His heart lived! And while she lived, breathed, and walked among the People, there was hope that he could reignite what they had had prior to the removal of the Veil.</p><p>His mind rattled through choices, pathways he could perhaps nudge their way to what he desired. This was only the first step. Her rejection hurt but was also expected considering all that transpired.</p><p>He just hadn't expected her to look so ragged; so clearly worn down from life after the Veil.</p><p>But then he had only a rough idea of what she had endured, having seen and heard from the delegates of their own suffering. Ellana must have suffered the same, if not more. She was so thin. Not that she ever was the reverse but her slight frame was not meant to expose her ribs so clearly or have a waist pinched in from loss of muscle and fat. But he could fix that. This conclave would be the start.</p><p>When he reached his own private tent, Solas sank down into a lounger and allowed himself a brief moment of respite. Ellana lived and while that state existed, there was hope.</p><p>Her form had haunted his days and nights.</p><p>In truth since he left her after taking her Vallaslin. His dreams would always coalesce into how many goodbyes he'd said to her. After Corphypheus's defeat; after he'd taken her arm in the ruins; the Deep Roads after he'd retrieved another orb at her expense; that last battle when they knew it was over and he'd won.</p><p>In that last battle among the burning and bloodied fields,  Ellana had thrown her staff aside and held a dagger over his heart. For the briefest of moments, she could have killed him. And yet she couldn't. Her tears had coursed down her cheeks and landed on his own.</p><p>That abyss of despair that welled in her eyes had tortured him ever since. Abelas and his forces had arrived and broken the moment, forced the combined mortal armies into a desperate retreat, and then it was over. His plan worked. His enchantment from millennia ago was undone and the world as the mortals knew it was over.</p><p>In the immediate aftermath, he'd gone to war. The restored forces of the Evanuris were leaderless for a time while their gods struggled to awaken themselves. He took advantage, turned them to his cause, and led what he hoped would be the conclusion to a job half-finished.</p><p>Through the spirits and wisps that survived the catastrophic collapse, he learned of the survivors.</p><p>Pavvus and his Tevinter companions had managed to completely seal their grand city. None could enter and none could leave. That was a negotiation for another time.</p><p>Ferelden had been more circumspect, reaching out with ambassadors for aid and Solas was inclined to give it if he could. It was through this partnership that they'd discovered the hold-outs in Orlais and the last of mortal elves.</p><p>Ellana was never far from his mind. How could she be? She'd held what remained of his heart in a vice-like grip. There was no sign of her in the aftermath. The spirits and wisps were silent on her, some telling him outright that they had knowledge but it was not for his ears to know. His voyages in dreams led him nowhere.</p><p>She'd vanished and he'd believed that perhaps she'd fallen too like so many others. A suitable punishment for him. To live his life alone, having killed the one who'd loved him as just Solas. Loved him as a penniless apostate with stories to tell.</p><p><em>But she lived,</em> he mused with a smile drifting across his face. He began to make his plans, a war strategy for overcoming the obstacles between them.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Ellana had not slept the rest of that night.</p><p>She'd cleaned herself with ragged cloths and cold water before putting on her traveling clothes. Her long blonde hair she merely plaited, braiding it in her usual style around her head was beyond her tired body's capability that morning.</p><p>It gave her malicious pleasure to see the elvhen attendants arrive at dawn with glorious pieces of clothing, each only to have her reject them out of a hand and force them to leave. Their faces as she told them of her rejection were a treat to her scalded heart.</p><p>Fen'Harel had not arrived thankfully. Perhaps her coldness had gotten through to his mind last night as she had no hope that it could reach that small ill-used deformed heart of his.</p><p>When the call came to join the discussions with breakfast to help ease the initial tensions, Ellana had steeled herself against him. Only the other delegations had arrived when the Dalish took their seats. Ferelden, Orlais, Antiva, the Free Marches... even the Avvar had sent what they could to these talks.</p><p>Ellana had immediately spotted the elvhen side of the table, currently empty, and that she'd been assigned a seat right next to them. Now that would not do at all.</p><p>She quickly bribed a boisterous Avvar warrior with honey cakes if she could take his spot the furthest from the elvhen, lying that she wished to speak with the Fereleden diplomats.</p><p>He'd accepted eagerly and so she sat hidden among the Avvar with the hood covering her distinctive blonde hair.</p><p>She knew Deshanna and the other Keepers were shooting dagger-like glares at her but Ellana cared not.</p><p>Once this was over, she planned on slipping away from the festivities unnoticed. She'd reach the aravels, take Sul and go.</p><p>Ferelden seemed a fair spot, as fair as any other in the charred remains of Thedas. She could take on a new name, a new identity. Deshanna and the others would be angry she knew but if Fen'Harel was serious about aiding them then they didn't need her anymore and she certainly could survive without them now that Sul was old enough to help.</p><p>Her mind busily went through a rough plan as she did not once pay attention to the food before her or the world around her.</p><p>She'd reach Sul, take maybe some of the older hallas. She knew the clan planned on culling some of their small herd in order to keep enough feed for the younger. She and Sul could take them across the Frostbacks. The mountain pass further south was more dangerous for storms and dust clouds but would allow the halla to cross with less risk.</p><p>Then if she organized it right, it would take a day and a half to cross the sand wastes the Frostbacks now contained.</p><p>Ferelden still had some remote but hospitable areas. They cross, get the halla to graze then maybe the southernmost shore would be best. Away from the large cities. She began to mentally tally what they'd need, counting on her gloved fingers and mouthing unconsciously the supply list.</p><p>Ellana didn't notice the seat beside her vacating and another slipping in to replace the occupant.</p><p>It was only when light fingers touched a stray lock of hair and put it behind her ear that Ellana snapped out of her daze. Her eyes locked onto Fen'Harel and her heart stuttered almost to a stop.</p><p>She'd not let herself look upon him directly the night before, unsure of how she could deal with seeing him again. And now he was here, staring at her with a gentle smile.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p><em>Lies lies lies,</em> her mind screamed as she belatedly jerked back from his touch.</p><p>Fen'Harel had changed little in the years they hadn't seen each other and yet that made it all the worse on her heart. The auburn hair that Sul had stolen from him was shorn on the sides but neatly plaited and ornamented on the top of his head. It was longer than when she'd last seen it, reaching now to his lower back. His grey eyes were just as intense and unreadable as she remembered.</p><p>"Good morning," he greeted, unfazed by her sudden pulling away from his fingers. "I hope you rested, Lethallin."</p><p>Ellana managed to finally move her gaze away, her green eyes searching desperately for something to stare at before settling on a random knot in the wooden table.</p><p>"Is there something I can help you with?" she replied dully.</p><p>"I was hoping you might join me alone. For some food. These discussions will be quite time consuming and boring. Mainly supply details. I know how that used to frustrate you during the Inquisition."</p><p>"I'm fine here."</p><p>"I found some interesting ruins, from the era of the Dales. We retrieved some fascinating objects. Your heritage, Lethallin. I had hoped that I could give them to you. For your People's safekeeping."</p><p>"My Keeper Deshanna would be best positioned to hold those."</p><p>"But surely as her First-"</p><p>"I'm not her First," Ellana immediately said with a certain sharpness in tone that left it clear there were some hurts still unresolved.</p><p>"How could you not be? I d-"</p><p>"I was led astray by the Dread Wolf," Ellana replied with eyes locked firmly on that tangled deformed knot in the otherwise flawless table. "I'm not fit for being First. I work at other things for my clan and People."</p><p>A hard silence followed her words and Ellana belatedly realized it was not just her conversation with Fen'Harel that stopped but the entire table had fallen silent.</p><p>"I see, " Fen'Harel finally said, his voice losing that soft lilt she'd adored when times had been more innocent.</p><p>"It's not what you believe, Lord Fen'Harel."</p><p>Ellana didn't look up, recognizing immediately the voice of Keeper Lorienil. <em>Shit</em>, she hissed at herself internally. She should have said nothing or just gone along with what he said.</p><p>"Explain, Keeper."</p><p>"It would be best discussed in private, my Lord."</p><p>Fen'Harel rose off his seat immediately. "Let us go then." He grabbed Ellana's arm, yanking her out of her seat too. She attempted to fight off his grip but it was like iron and she found herself dragged with him to follow the Keepers outside the tent.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Ellana, hood now after falling from her head and half-blinded by the dazzling sun, stared at the Deshanna shaped smudge of color she could recognise. "Keeper, stop this! Please!!!"</p><p>"I'm sorry," Deshanna murmured, tears welling up in her eyes. "I'm sorry. But we... I..."</p><p>"What have you done?!"</p><p>"Mamae!"</p><p>A tiny voice behind Ellana called, full of cheer and joy while her heart froze in place. The grip on her arm eased off as Fen'Harel turned in obvious surprise towards the origin of the shout.</p><p>Ellana felt Sul's arms lock around her legs before she had time to turn.</p><p>"Mamae!! You're here!!!"</p><p>Ellana, full to bursting with fear and despair, sank to the ground with tears pouring down her face. She couldn't bring herself to look at her beloved child's face. Instead, she gripped Sul close and hid him in her arms. But she knew it was too late.</p><p>One tear-filled glance at Fen'Harel had shown her that. He was stunned, unmoving, and staring at the small thin child clad in rags that was swallowed in Ellana's arms.</p><p>"Leave us," Fen'Harel finally managed to say.</p><p>"My Lord, we've kept the child and his mother safe all these years. We'd lik-" Lorienil began to say before he was stunned into silence by the roar of the Dread Wolf.<br/><br/>"I SAID LEAVE! You think to negotiate terms to me while using my vhen- ... using a mother and child as leverage? You think that this somehow gives you an advantage? Do you think that I would be impressed that you would use innocents as pawns against me?! What do your childish stories say about those who have tried such things before?!"</p><p>Lorienil paled, the other Keepers falling into despair themselves. Whatever their plans had been, Lorienil had just completely destroyed them.<br/><br/>"Just... leave!" Fen'Harel hissed, fighting whatever warring emotions he battled before turning his focus back on Ellana who was attempting to escape by carrying Sul in a rush to the harts tied up at the tree-line.</p><p>The Keepers were roughly directed back to the tents while Fen'Harel himself stopped Ellana's relentless march forward.</p><p>He grabbed her arm and pulled her in another direction entirely. He led Ellana and Sul to his own rooms and privacy.</p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. The Boy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>His heart was breaking in more ways than one.</p><p>The one that beat in his chest was aching and stuttering, while his vhenan was wide-eyed with tears streaking her cheeks as she curled up in the corner of his tent with the child.<br/><br/>His child. Their child in fact. There was no mistaking it.</p><p>The moment they'd entered the tent, Ellana had scrambled away from him at the first sign he had eased his grip. He'd barely had time to realize her loss when she'd cowered from him in the corner, using her body to shield the child from his sight.</p><p>A few minutes had passed since then and he'd finally somehow managed to put his jumbled thoughts together. What plans he arranged in his mind in the early hours of the morning were gone, lost to the whirlwind of this new revelation.<br/><br/>But more than that... his vhenan had been betrayed. By those, she'd loved and fought for. They sought to use her, to use their child against him. He'd known something of betrayal in his life, been the cause of it to many.</p><p>But to use Ellana of all people... not even he could bring himself to do that despite the war they found themselves in years before.</p><p>She'd disagree with those facts of course.</p><p>He slowly padded towards them, hands open and wide in a gesture of peace. Ellana watched him wearily, like a hart or halla on alert for danger. He was the danger in her eyes Solas realized with a sharp pang.<br/><br/>"Please... be not afraid. I just want to talk," he said softly, coaxing her as best he could to ease her stranglehold on the boy.<br/><br/>His plan worked but only after another few minutes of gentle words that eventually caused Ellana to loosen her grip on the child, allowing Solas a chance to get a better look.<br/><br/>Large green eyes gazed at him with confusion. No wonder as the boy clearly didn't understand what all the ruckus was about.</p><p>There was Solas's chin and jaw, patrician nose, and higher brow.<br/><br/>There was his hair, lighter in color than Solas's but unmistakably from him. His ears were almost too large for his body but ones he would grow into.</p><p>"Hello," Solas greeted numbly.</p><p>"Hi. What's your name?" was the boy's reply, head tilted adorably as the boy stared at Solas as much as he'd stared at him.</p><p>"Solas," he replied with a wry smile, ignoring Ellana's attempt to retort and call him Fen'Harel. His son would not know him as that despite her best attempts. "What's yours?"</p><p>He watched as the boy managed to free himself from his mother's embrace until he could stand on his own very small feet. "I'm Sulahn'nehn!"</p><p>"A lovely name. A very fitting one."</p><p>Sul beamed with pleasure and pride at the praise before he turned to his mother. "Mamae?"</p><p>"Yes, da'len?" Ellana replied softly, her anxiety ebbing slightly as she watched the pair interact.</p><p>"Is everything okay? I'm not sure what happened."</p><p>"It's fine," she choked out. "Who did you come here with?"</p><p>"Keeper Harrenil! He came after you all left and told Esenial that I could go with him! That you had said it was okay. But..." Sul frowned deeply. "... I'm not so sure now. Are you upset with me?"</p><p>"No. Never upset with you, da'len!" Ellana gushed, pulling the child into a hug. "I need to talk with... Solas for a bit so let's go outside and I'll find-"</p><p>"Abelas," Solas cut in. "Let me call Abelas. He can watch over Sulahn'nehn."</p><p>He knelt before the boy and gently took his smaller hands into his own far larger ones. "Would you be interested in seeing some fantastical beasts? Griffons, dragons, and all sorts of wonders?"</p><p>Sulahn'nehn brow furrowed. "Those aren't real!"</p><p>"Well, I've got surprises in store for you."</p><p>-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>Abelas's had quickly arrived at his master's call.</p><p>The confusion was writ across his austere face as he was directed to guard a child while showing him the menagerie set up on the far side of the meadow. He left just as swiftly as he arrived, with Sulahn'nehn's hand held firmly in his own.</p><p>That left just Solas and Ellana, who'd had not moved from her spot on the floor.</p><p>"Would you have ever told me?" Solas asked gently, taking a seat across from where Ellana sat on the floor. "If not forced to here."</p><p>"No."</p><p>"I suppose I deserve that. He's thin. Too thin. As are you."</p><p>Ellana spat out a biting laugh. "I did the best I could. I've always put him first. I work hard to get enough food and he's always fed first with the largest portions! I don't ne-"</p><p>"No! No, vhenan! Don't take my words as a judgment against you. It's against me. I placed you in this position of having to choose. Of having less than optimal."</p><p>Solas watched Ellana's body slump a little more after her burst of righteous indignation. "He's... outgoing. Polite. You don't need to talk to him to see that he finds joy in life, in the world he's found himself in. That is because of you."</p><p>Solas's eyes flickered to the bracelet tightly around her wrist before it moved back to her face. "He wears that same bangle. Is that how you have hidden you both from my sight?"</p><p>He didn't need a reply as Ellana unconsciously rubbed at the slight metal. In a flash, Solas suddenly realized what the bracelet was doing, watching the world itself distort around her wrist as she moved it. "You've... cut yourself off from the Fade?" he asked in horror.</p><p>"Not totally" she hissed at him. "But enough. Like another weaker Veil. I learned the magic from you after all."</p><p>"And Sul-"</p><p>Ellana nodded. "He needs it more than me. I couldn't risk... why am I telling you this..."</p><p>"It goes. Today. My son will experience the world as it should be."</p><p>That riled Ellana to the point of rage as she got to her feet. "Your son?! Do you think that he'd even want to be that?! The son of a mass murderer! The son of the Dread Wolf who consumes and destroys all around him! I won't let you turn him into... into another you!"</p><p>Solas met her face on, watching as a faint fear flashed beneath the anger written across her face. "Do you really believe that I'd... it matters not. He is mine and I will claim him. Your time scavenging for scraps is over. You both will be coming with me to Arlathan."</p><p>"You can't do this! I refuse!"</p><p>"You don't get a choice. "</p><p>Solas grabbed her arm and removed the bracelet despite Ellana's attempts to stop him. As the flood of the restored world began to drift into her body, Ellana sank defeated to the floor and averted her eyes from him.</p><p>Solas knelt before her, gently cupping her right cheek in his hand. "I know you see this as cruelty and if... if I'd have time to spare I'd not force this upon you."<br/><br/></p><hr/><p> </p><p>He left her there, slumped in the tent while he cast another barrier to prevent her from leaving.</p><p>Solas needed to prepare.</p><p>Firstly he'd ensure they ate before setting off on the journey. New clothing and baths too. Ellana would resist but he was confident that the path to persuading her lay with Sulahn'nehn.</p><p>But right now his focus was on the Keepers. His anger at them boiled in his core. They thought to use Sulahn'nehn as a pawn and it would have to be dealt with swiftly.</p><p>Two Evanuris remained at large and Solas could not risk any weak link.</p><p>The Keepers had proven themselves to be one such weakness and would have to be dealt with.</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. The Start of the Thaw</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ellana stared blankly at the two large tubs of hot water, her nose twitching at the soft scents of whatever delicate perfume the attendants splashed liberally into the waters.</p><p>The pair was thankfully ignored as the elvhen prepared both tubs in readiness for bathing.</p><p>Sul's hand tightened where he clung to hers, watching too in fascination at both the volume of clean water that he'd never seen before and what these other elves were doing to it.</p><p>Shortly after Sulahn'nehn had returned from his adventures still guarded by a baffled Abelas, Solas had arrived from wherever he'd disappeared to and taken the other elvhen outside the tent.</p><p>What the discussion was about she immediately knew. Abelas had cast frequent glances back at both her and Sul before back to Solas, gaze flickering between all three before his master had sent him away on whatever errands he'd requested.</p><p>The manipulations she expected had immediately started once Solas had stepped back into the tent.</p><p>It was through Sul of course. Sul who was so young and innocent, so eager to tell this new fascinating person all about what he'd seen.</p><p>Before she'd even realized it, Solas had somehow managed to weave his way through the conversation to finally approach her about sending Sul to a bath. That she should in fact show him how it all worked.</p><p>"A thorough cleansing," he'd said, "It will allow us to more easily check his health and condition as we work to get some more fat on his bones. I can organize a meal while you both bathe. Is there anything I should avoid for Sul?"</p><p>"Mamae?" Sul whispered to her, pulling not just on the arm he held tightly but drawing his mother out of her memories.</p><p>"Yes, da'len?"</p><p>Sul glanced around anxiously, concerned clearly about other ears. She knelt down so he could voice his concerns to her without the small audience around them hearing.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Solas, who'd for some reason had taken on the task of directing the workers organizing the tubs, noticed them immediately.</p><p>His shrewd gaze quickly catching the little frown on Sul's face and the matching sympathetic one on Ellana's as she gently reassured with whispers to the boy's large ears.<br/><br/>"Is there something wrong?" he asked, having easily crossed the distance to them.</p><p>"It's nothing important."</p><p>"I beg to differ," Solas pressed to a faint huff from Ellana. Sul was still hovering anxiously near her side.</p><p>"... forgive me. I just wish to ensure that Sulahn'nehn is comfortable with all this.," Solas added, watching as the hardness drifted from her face at the mere mention of the boy's name.</p><p>Ellana rolled her eyes. "He's just concerned that the Keepers would be mad."</p><p>That confused Solas even more. "I don't particularly understand."</p><p>"Clean water doesn't exist in Thedas unless you make it. We don't waste it with..." Ellana gestured at the steaming tubs, "... this stuff. Sul doesn't want Keeper Deshanna angry with him for wasting resources that matter."</p><p>Solas blinked. "Oh. I... I'm not sure what to say to that."</p><p>"Say nothing then," Ellana muttered while she scratched the top of Sul's head as he leaned into her leg.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Solas had stayed until they were both firmly ensconced in their tubs behind intricately carved screens that shielded them from sight.</p><p>Sulahn'nehn was still unsure, but encouragement from Solas and seeing his mother sink into her own bath almost bonelessly with a sigh was enough to get him over the line.</p><p>He left them then, smiling as Sul started giggling and splashing the foamy water as he acclimatized to it. That smile disappearing almost immediately as he overheard Sul say, "Mamae, how are we going to fix the water when we're done? To make it good for halla and the crops?"</p><p>"We won't have to, da'len."</p><p>"But-"</p><p>"I know, ma lath," Ellana called softly to the child. "Don't worry about that. There is enough to go around for everyone. No one is going without just because you had a bath."</p><p>Solas had slipped away quietly then, taking their discarded rags with him. He'd dumped the scraps of cloth and leather with an attendant, remarking to them that cleaning would not be necessary but burning the rags most definitely would.</p><p>He'd then returned with soft fluffy drying cloths which he carefully draped over the screens within reach of those cleaning. He'd also brought a choice of new clothes to suit the pair which he left in place of where their rags had once been before he took a seat nearby and waited.</p><p>On his mind weighed Sul's bracelet. He'd wait. Wait until they reached Arlathan before he'd remove it. Then he'd have time to prepare Sul for what the Fade really meant and he could protect him as he should.</p><p>Sul emerged first from behind the screen, looking bright pink and squeaky clean. His hair was like the finest fluff sitting on top of his head while the large cloth Solas had brought was wrapped around him.</p><p>"Hahren Solas?"</p><p>He'd nearly sprinted to the child at the calling of his name, having to force himself to walk calmly to Sul who was beaming at him.</p><p>"Yes, da'len?"</p><p>"I can't see my clothes anywhere."</p><p>"Oh well... I was hoping you might help me with something. See these clothes?" Solas patted the small bundle of warm soft fabric that sat where Sul's rags once had. "We were going to get rid of them. No one was around that they fitted. But then you arrived and I think these will fit you perfectly. You'd be doing me a great favor."</p><p>Sul gently touched the first item cautiously as if it would burn him.</p><p>It was a tunic Solas had picked for him of a deep warm blue. Nothing flashy or embroidered.</p><p>If he'd had his preference, the boy would be clothed like a king already but Solas had to pitch this carefully, pull at what boy already knew as certainties in his world. A young life full of little to go around but just enough to share.</p><p>He watched Sul's gently run his hand over the cloth. "It's so soft!" Sul whispered to him with green eyes wide like a halla's as he peered up at Solas.</p><p>"Let's try them on, eh?"</p><p>By the time Ellana finally emerged from behind the screens, Sul was in his new clothes and delighted with himself. New tunic and leggings, feet wraps covered with delicate wards etched in to afford extra protection, and a new heavy cloak lined with thick ermine fur.</p><p>She gave him a smile, hiding her surprise and anger at Solas carefully. "You look lovely, Sul. All warm?"</p><p>"Yeah! Solas has found clothes for you too."</p><p>Solas was ahead of him, handing over the bundle carefully. "Where are our other clothes?" she muttered to him lowly.</p><p>"Gone. To more worthy people. Why don't you get dressed then we can go to dinner."</p><p>"I want them back," she nearly growled only to find herself promptly ignored as Solas instead took Sul's hand and gently tugged the boy to go with him.</p><p>"Where are you going?" Ellana asked in a slight panic as the Dread Wolf was apparently disappearing with her son.<br/><br/>"Join us," Solas called back to her.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Another game she realized later. Another manipulation.</p><p>He'd known she'd fuss over the clothes so he'd forced her to put them quickly on by taking Sul to dinner without her.</p><p>She could never quite guess how he knew that she wouldn't just run outside naked but then Solas had always been able to read people like a book.</p><p>Dinner was a quiet affair.</p><p>Solas had selected things carefully. Plain meats, plain vegetables, and fruits. Some sauces but always separate, and only poured when asked.</p><p>He wasn't so much concerned about her eating but Sul... Sul he watched intently. Everything was paced. Everything was careful. Enough food to have a full and somewhat bloated stomach, but not as much as Ellana had thought he might attempt to force down them.</p><p>"There's still so much!" Sul had said in awe of the tables laden behind them, filled with all manner of lovely things.<br/><br/>"I know," Solas replied ahead of Ellana. "There's to be a feast tonight. A celebration. Loads of people coming to it so we had to make sure there's enough. What's left will feed the animals."</p><p>Sul nodded, staring up at Solas as though every word he spoke was gold. Ellana hated the feeling of helplessness and some inadequacy that began to creep into her heart as she watched Sul become more and more enamored with the facade Solas put up.</p><p>"I know I had discussed leaving today but I think tomorrow morning will be a better time," Solas finally said Ellana who sank back in her seat.</p><p>"And there I had thought you were so determined to move us," she replied caustically.</p><p>"Oh I am but... Sul appears tired. It's been a long day for him. And a stressful day or so for you. There are things I must deal with tonight. First light tomorrow, I will show you Arlathan. Not quite as grand as it once was but I do hope you will find peace there eventually, lethallin."</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Bound</h2></a>
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    <p>"What is it?" Sul stared perplexed at the ornate bed, filled with everything soft and fluffy possible to ease a body into rest.<br/><br/>"It's a bed. Like your bedroll only bigger."<br/><br/>"Why's it so high?!! It's nearly taller than me!" Sul squeaked, placing himself beside the bed to demonstrate his lack of height in comparison.  "Can I sleep on the floor with you?" he added with just the right amount of misery in his voice that usually pulled Ellana's heartstrings and swayed her decision making.  He peered up at her, big green eyes shining like stars while he fidgeted with the new clothes given to him for sleeping.<br/><br/>"You can if you'd like," his mother replied softly. "I'll set up the bedrolls. Maybe we could use some of those blankets as they do look very comfy."</p><p>Solas had disappeared shortly after dinner. He gave no clear idea of where he was going or when he'd appear again. Not that Ellana asked. The evening was spent sitting and reading with Sul, a colorful retelling of a Arlathan heroic tale. It was one of numerous books brought to their tent by Abelas earlier that day, clearly at Solas's instruction.<br/><br/>Sul had wanted to visit Keeper Deshanna, to Ellana's careful kept internal displeasure, but had to mollified with an evening with his Mamae when Abelas informed them that the Dalish contingent were in discussions with Lord Pride.<br/>Her son of course had no idea who this 'Lord Pride' was and, from the stricken look on Abelas's face and his non-answer to Sul's obvious question, clearly he was never meant to know by anyone other than Solas.  It was too late tonight to go through the myriad questions that Sul would have so Ellana filed that conversation away for when things had settled a bit more.<br/><br/>The bedrolls were soon carefully laid out on the floor, helpfully plumped up by the blankets from the decidedly fancier beds within the tent. Sul curled up gratefully beneath his set, with only the fine soft hair on the very top of his head and the tips of his ears visible.<br/><br/>Ellana settled in beside him and pondered what she would do. She didn't want to dream, had no desire to wander the Fade and be forced to relive her greatest mistakes. Solas had taken her bracelet and it's current whereabouts were unknown. And Sul's was off limits. She'd have to fight him on that again but then Solas didn't seem to have any pressing desire to remove it from him.<br/><br/>To solve her Fade and Dreaming problem, Ellana had managed to persuade one of the elvhen attendants that she was suffering from insomnia. Milk of valryia was promptly fetched, along with Ekecsman's bane. Just what she needed. The combination would let her rest but prevent slippage of her mind into the Fade.<br/><br/>To her surprise as she retrieved the medicine from the attendant, she manged to pick up the noise of shouting from a distant tent. Faint enough to be unrecognizable but close enough to be clearly known as a war of words. Perhaps that was where Solas was. Not that she cared, Ellana swiftly reminded herself before she followed Sul's example and settled in for rest.<br/><br/></p><hr/><p><br/>Her sleep was thankfully dreamless but also short-lived.<br/><br/>She woke again in the middle of the night, not due to her usual anxieties but because of Solas. He'd lifted her off the floor shortly before she'd awoken and had placed her into the bed she'd abandoned. She watched as he did the same with the child, carefully carrying Sul who looked tiny in his arms to the other bed and placed him within it. Once the blankets pulled up securely around him, Solas ran a careful hand through the boy's steadily lengthening hair.<br/><br/>"He has such a bright and vibrant spirit," he whispered, flicking his gaze to Ellana to let her know he was aware she was no longer in sleep.<br/><br/>"He's a good-natured child," she answered hesitatingly. "There's no meanness in him. Sometimes I wonder if he was really once a spirit of Joy or Compassion that walked out from the Fade into my arms."<br/><br/>"He is who he is. A marvel like his mother. I would... let us talk in the 'moro. I know I ask much of you considering everything. I'm not unaware of how this must all seem to you."<br/><br/>Ellana made to slip off the bed and move back to her bedroll when she was caught by Solas's hand on her shoulder. "Please... stay on the bed..." he said quietly, his voice pained.<br/><br/>"I prefer the floor."<br/><br/>"Just.. please? I've enchanted the beds personally. To fend off wayward spirits and demons. To hide you both from the gaze of those who'd seek to harm you both if discovered."<br/><br/>Ellana sank back to sit on the bed's edge. "Do you have reason to suspec-"<br/><br/>"Not right now but that doesn't mean we shouldn't take precautions. So please stay on the beds for now. If you still are determined to rest on the floor, I'll enchant an entire room for you in Arlathan."<br/><br/>Ellana huffed a little but dragged her legs back onto the bed when she saw the tortured pain in Solas's eyes. "I heard arguing," she pressed. "And I know you were speaking to the Keepers."<br/><br/>Solas's face went carefully blank and guarded. "Your People will be cared for."<br/><br/>"And the Keepers? What was the argument over? And surely I should have been involved."<br/><br/>"I've bound them. A geas. They were... not overly compliant to my wishes but they've seen the necessity now."<br/><br/>Ellana's mouth fell open in horror. "A geas??! And they allowed it?!"<br/><br/>"They had no choice. It was either the geas or destruction," Solas remarked, casting a quick spell over Sul to silence the conversation they were having from his ears.</p><p>Solas glanced at Ellana, seeing the horror on her face at his words. "They were a liability," he spat out. "They attempted to use you and Sul against me. As pawns."<br/><br/>He paced forward a few steps before whirling on his heel to face her. "Imagine such capability of treachery when faced with the might of an Evanuris. When faced with their tortures. The geas will bind them to silence. They are lucky they had a choice. There was a time millennia ago when I'd have given no option at all."<br/><br/>He peered at her, gaze cold and unmoving. "Your People will be cared for. And the Keepers live so long as they keep their bargain. Keep their silence. It will be dawn soon. Rest while you can. We leave at first light."</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Ellana stood and watched mutely as the little drama played out before her.<br/><br/>Dawn and morning had come. She'd gotten herself and Sul ready for another day with Solas arriving with some hearty breakfast that Sul wolfed down. She had, on the other hand, been more circumspect. The conversation from the night before had only reinforced what Solas was beneath the charm. For now, she'd have to go along with what he wants. But once she had an opportunity, she would take Sul and go.<br/><br/>The parting had gone as well as could be expected. Until Sul discovered they weren't going back to the Clan lands and home that is.<br/><br/>"But you don't understand, hahren!" Sul begged Solas with the Keepers watching from a distance with amusement. "I promised him! I promised Juriel that I'd help with the halla! It'll be winter soon and if we don't get them in from the pasture in time, there won't be enough grazing to make into feed and then... then...."<br/><br/>"I understand, da'len," Solas consoled, on his knees in the dirt before Sul who was teary eyed in his distress. "But you need not fear for the halla. There will be plenty. I'll have it sent this very day."<br/><br/>"You don't understand! <em>I promised!!</em>"<br/><br/>It suddenly struck Solas what was so upsetting the child. He smiled and gently cupped Sul's right cheek, wiping away the stray tear that leaked unbidden with his thumb. "And you are someone who keeps their word."<br/><br/>Ellana took the brief moment of peace as an opportunity to step in. "I know who can help with this," she said softly to Sul who peered up at her while she called out, "Keeper Deshanna! May you join us for a moment?" For all her anger at Deshanna, Ellana knew that the old Keeper was fond of Sul in spite of all that happened.</p><p>"Yes?" Deshanna asked quietly, gently placing a comforting hand on Sul's shoulder.<br/><br/>"Sul made a solemn promise to Juriel that he'd help this year with the halla."<br/><br/>"Ahh. Yes. I remember."<br/><br/>Ellana sniffed. "Sul is needed to go to Arlathan. As you know," she prodded at the Keeper, watching the dawning compression cross her face. "But this promise he made must be met."<br/><br/>Deshanna pondered it briefly before she answered, "I believe I have a solution. The promise must be kept, but it doesn't have to be carried out by Sul. A replacement can take on the tasks that Sul swore so faithfully to carry out."<br/><br/>"But I don't know who would do that!" Sul hiccuped. "And I don't have anything to give in return!"<br/><br/>"I do," Solas replied, finding his feet quickly and heading to a nearby tent.<br/><br/>In his absence, Ellana gently rubbed Sul's head while he buried his face into her tunic. "He takes you to Arlathan?" Deshanna said quietly.<br/><br/>"He does. We will likely not be back for a very long time."<br/><br/>"I see. I... we thought it was for the best."<br/><br/>"You all thought?  You all sat there and pondered this? There I was seeing very little thinking in what you and the other Keepers have done. As it is, I believe he's put you all under a geas?"<br/><br/>Deshanna nodded before she showed the glowing marks on her right wrist, an intricate web that even Ellana's keen eyes couldn't quite decipher. "Bound by oaths. He would... the Dread Wolf was..."<br/><br/>"Terrifying?" Ellana surmised, remembering distantly that last battle she fought in and the power Solas had wielded. He was terrifying then. Stronger now.<br/><br/>Deshanna nodded, a look of sheer fear crossing her face at the memory. "He'll stop at nothing to keep him safe."<br/><br/>"What's the Dread Wolf?" Sul finally asked, pulling his face free from his mother's clothing and peering bleary eyed at them.<br/><br/>"Nothing important to you, Sul," was Solas's deep voiced reply from behind him as he arrived with another elvhen in tow. "This is Ishamiel."</p><p>The other elvhen, with long red hair braided with gold threads and clothes finer than even what Solas was wearing, bowed. "He has graciously accepted to take on your task, Sul."<br/><br/>Sul glanced anxiously at Solas. "But.. I don't have anything to give to say thanks, hahren Solas."<br/><br/>"You don't need to," was the reply. "He's doing this as a favor to me. And your repayment in this regard is to come with your Mamae to Arlathan."</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>There was no further goodbyes or delicate farewells.<br/><br/>Solas, having brokered Sul's peace of mind about leaving, swiftly let Deshanna and Ishamiel go through introductions as he ushered his charges away from camp.<br/><br/>"The eluvian is just up here," Solas barked, one hand firm on Sul's own as he led him through the crowd, while the other was hard on Ellana's lower back as he pushed her forwards.<br/><br/>So determined was he to just get them to the city that they'd barely had time to register the glowing and glimmering mirror when he'd pushed Ellana through before following with Sul in his arms.<br/><br/>She stumbled out the other side, somehow keeping her footing before taking in the sight before her.  The gate had deposited her on a rocky outcrop, high above a city of polished gleaming marble and soaring crystal towers that seemed to pierce the heavens themselves. It sat in what was old Arlathan forest, surrounded by the forest in full bloom with almost every color and shade reflected in its canopy.</p><p>Ellana felt numb. Here was Thedas as she had remembered it. Full of life and growth. But it wasn't real anymore. "Creators..." she whispered.<br/><br/>"They had very little to do with it," Solas murmured, setting Sul on his feet beside Ellana. "Welcome to Arlathan. Welcome home."<br/><br/>Ellana, with eyes roaming over the grandeur and majesty of the city, murmured softly, "This isn't home."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Arlathan</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ellana was uncomfortable. More uncomfortable than she'd ever been which was a feat she never thought possible.</p><p>She'd gone from Dalish nomad to being practically deified by the Andrastian religion as a herald of their faith. But this was more uncomfortable than any of that nonsense.</p><p>Solas had a carriage fetch them from the eluvian. Not just any carriage. One drawn by griffons in all their glory harnessed with chains of gleaming gold and silver. The carriage itself was a tremendously gaudy affair, covered in etched designs that were painted in gold and encrusted with jewels if the high shine of the stones embedded in its frame was any indication.</p><p>Not that Sul noticed in any way. He was still focused on the promise to Juriel and pestered his mother with questions over it, only being distracted by his intense desire to pet the griffons, a desire which was duly indulged by Solas.</p><p>He held the boy in his arms, letting Sul meet the griffons at head height. Ellana watched them both for a time in silence as Sul was mesmerized by the creatures and Solas by Sul in turn. She didn't quite know what to feel at that moment. Seeing them together seemed right in her gut, and yet she wanted to rip Sul from the Dread Wolf's arms and flee back through the mirror. She'd have to bide her time. Ellana would have to plan.</p><p>She watched with a sinking heart as Sul turned and hugged Solas, thanking him for his help. The look on Solas's face and the gentleness as he returned it, as though he feared the boy would shatter in his arms if he held too tightly, was torture to Ellana.</p><p>He'd told her once that she needed to harden her heart. She thought she had, that the years of suffering had claimed all but what Sul carried with him. Now she wasn't so sure.</p><p>Ellana turned and got into the carriage. She began to prepare herself for what came next.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Arlathan was beautiful. Of that, she couldn't deny. The city lived and breathed magic. It seemed to pour from every seamless corner and every marble-paved street.</p><p>Every building was an architectural marvel, from the simplest shops and townhouses to the vast mansions that dotted the cityscape.</p><p>The removal of her bracelet allowed Ellana to feel the rhythm and flow of the city's magic pulling at her. In particular, her arm. She grabbed the arm, wincing as a stab of pain rippled up to her shoulder.</p><p>"Are you alright?"</p><p>Ellana glanced over at Solas who sat opposite, almost on the edge of his seat as he leaned towards her.</p><p>"It's nothing really."</p><p>"You seem in pain," Solas pressed, casting a quick glance at Sul who was blissfully unaware as he stared out in awe at the city they traveled through.</p><p>"My arm. Dorian managed to restore it after the Veil fell. Less of a burden than the metal one I used. Just... maybe the magics here are too different from what he weaved."</p><p>Ellana looked at the arm and hand, seeing faint cracks in the magical webbing. She'd been so happy when Dorian had first created it. A gift for her unborn he'd told her. The baby needed a mother with two arms to keep him safe. She'd stayed briefly with him in the city before the Archon had the last entrance sealed. The shield they'd worked still stood, the city now in eternal Tevene defiance to the new elvhen order brought about in Thedas.</p><p>Ellana jumped a little as Solas gently clasped the hand, marveling the replacement of what he'd taken years before.</p><p>"It's workable," he mused to himself. "I can have it replaced. Fully. Not just an albeit excellent facsimile of an arm constructed from magic."</p><p>"That's not possible.."</p><p>Solas peered at her intently. "You are in Arlathan. Here is where wonders are worked. Replacement limbs were one of the first techniques we crafted. Too many accidents with a society of mages."</p><p>Ellana felt something warm on the hand he held. She glanced down and saw the cracks fade until they disappeared, along with the pain.</p><p>"A stopgap," Solas mused to her softly before he glanced out the window as they felt the carriage begin to slow. "Ah. We're here."</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Solas took the lead, offering his hand to help both Ellana and Sul from the carriage.</p><p>"My home. For now, at least," he remarked, noting the detached wonder on Ellana's face. She quickly collected herself and grabbed Sul's hand, holding him firmly to her side.</p><p>"What do you think?" Solas said as he knelt down to the child who was anxiously pulling at his right ear with his free hand.</p><p>"It's... big. Pretty. But very big. I think I'd get lost."</p><p>"Well..." Solas replied softly, smoothing down a patch of inexplicably spiky hair near Sul's ear, "... you just need to stick by me. I'll keep you safe."</p><p>Ellana was only marginally paying attention, the palace in front of her leaving her perplexed.</p><p>It was vast. A shining citadel of stone, marble, and crystalline glass. Within the very heart of the building, a tower glowing with arcane magics stood projecting... something. Ellana couldn't quite get to grips with what it was doing, knowing only that she could feel its influence.</p><p>The rest of the palace was built around this central hub, in concentric circles that fed into each other. It was just so vast that her mind struggled to comprehend what it was. She grew up in forests, living in arravels and under open skies. Her first experience of architecture of this scale was Skyhold, discounting what ruins she'd explored in her role as First. But even the great cities of Orlais and Tevinter had nothing on this.</p><p>"Shall we go inside?"</p><p>Solas's softly spoken question snapped her mind back to where she was. Ellana nodded, reaffirming that she had a strong grip on Sul as Solas led them to the impressive main entrance.</p><p>Wisps.</p><p>That's what she noticed first. A trail of them started following Sul along the halls as Solas led them through what appeared to be a labyrinth. It started with one. Then another joined. Now there were so many that Ellana almost couldn't make out how many there were.</p><p>She tugged Sul to a stop. "Hello," Ellana said softly to the tiny spirits as they whisked around her and Sul. "I know Sul is very interesting but would you mind if you let us settle in first before making friends? Tomorrow would be fine for a visit if you'd like?"</p><p>The wisps were delighted apparently with her words and whipped around them in joyful circles. Ellana fancied she could almost hear their tiny chime-like voices as they spun before the wisps began to drift away from them once more to wander through the halls.</p><p>"They are very rarely noticed. Or spoken to. You've been very kind to them."</p><p>Ellana glanced over her shoulder at Solas who was smiling at her. That disarming and gentle smile he'd use when she'd done something that was unexpected but delighted him nonetheless.</p><p>"Did you expect me to brush them away? The wisps have only ever been good to us," she answered before running a hand through Sul's hair. "They've been very good to Sul on our journies."</p><p>"Have they?"</p><p>It was Sul who answered Solas's query with eagerness. "They've helped us find food before! And water! Once I got lost in the Frostbacks and couldn't find my way back to camp as the sand kept shifting. The wisps helped me find Mamae!" The child beamed at Solas, filled with pride at the snippets of stories he told. Only Ellana could make out the faint horror on Solas's face before it disappeared under the mask once more.</p><p>"Well... that won't ever be a problem anymore. Come. We are close to your new home."</p><p>"New home? Aren't we going back to the clan?" Sul immediately asked, eyes locked on his mother.</p><p>Ellana gave the best reassuring smile she could. "It'll be our home for now. And we'll visit the Clan often so you won't miss anything," she said before fixing a hard stare on Solas. "Isn't that right, <em>hahren</em>?"</p><p>Solas flexed his jaw before he gave a curt nod. "We can discuss the first trip later. Let's get to your rooms first."</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>"I hope you like it. I had it configured somewhat. To suit you both." Solas stood anxiously near the door, watching their faces eagerly as they took in the room.</p><p>It was large with three smaller rooms feeding off. Unlike the rest of the palace, this place had a more rustic feel with warm wooden floors and the cold stone walls covered by assorted bookshelves or cupboards, all filled to the brim.</p><p>A large fireplace was set in the wall opposite the door and sent out a steady heat from the strange crystal fire that raged within it. The rugs were of a dalish weave, colorful halla wool set into archaic patterns and designs.</p><p>"It's... wonderful," Ellana sighed. She couldn't say anything less. What would the point be in lying?</p><p>Sul pottered over to one of the bookcases and eagerly started pouring over the titles. To Ellana's relief, Solas immediately joined him. He was eager to help direct the boy's interests even now while he was so young.</p><p>While they sat cross-legged on the floor looking at book after book, Ellana strolled to what was clearly some sort of hearth for cooking. She ran her hand over the smooth wooden tables and the strange cabinets that she soon found stocked with food. She'd even found one that was so cold that everything within it was practically ice!</p><p>She padded slowly to the room's center, nothing the two small bedrooms and what appeared to be a bathing room.</p><p>Ellana finally just sank down and sat on one of the soft couches before the fire. Outside the glittering windows, the sun was high in the sky. Her brain gave up all pretense of thinking, not even reacting as Solas quietly took the seat to her right.</p><p>"About Sul..." he started carefully, glancing back at the boy who was completely absorbed in the book Solas had found him.</p><p>"When do you want to tell him?" Ellana replied monotonously. "That you're his Papae, I mean."</p><p>"I'm... unsure. There are things that I must organize. For now, the People here believe you are a guest. They don't know the more... familiar aspects of our relationship. Or Sul for that matter."</p><p>"Ahhh," Ellana sighed before she laughed. "Dirty little secrets. Can't have <em>your People</em> know that you debased yourself with a mortal. A mortal dalish no less. Shocking stuff."</p><p>She didn't need to see his face to know he was enraged at her words.</p><p>"You lash out..." he said carefully, "... because of your hurt and anger at me. I understand. The reason for my silence is not shame. Fear is a more powerful motivator. For now... let Sul and I remain as we are."</p><p>Ellana glanced at him. "In that case, will you allow for visitors?"</p><p>Solas blinked before he nodded eagerly. "Of course. Within reason. Who were you thinking of?"</p><p>"Cullen and Cassandra. We'd planned on calling to them on our next run to Ferelden."</p><p>"Cullen and Cassandra still live?"</p><p>Before Ellana could answer, Sul scrambled over from where he'd sat.</p><p>"Did you say Papae Cullen is coming to visit?!!" Sul flipped his gaze to Solas and chirped, "Papae Cullen has been teaching me to read and write! And sword fight! He knows so much! He took me fishing and we gone on big treks hunting. He thinks I could be a great knight if I work hard! Mamae promised that I could learn from him when I'm old enough. I can be his squire!"</p><p>Ellana had missed most of what Sul said as she watched the flush of pride cross Sul's cheeks as he spoke so lovingly of Cullen to this new exciting friend of his while simultaneously all life seemed to drain from Solas's face.</p><p><em>Maybe this was not such a great idea</em> she mused.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Dreams</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Solas and Ellana start the long task of building bridges. Not easily of course. But it's a start.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ellana with a dull ache in her chest watched as the world warped and shimmered around her until she once again stood alone in a moonlit meadow.</p><p>It had been her fourth attempt to wake and every time she was kicked back once more to here... this meadow from her childhood.</p><p>The stress and agony she'd felt for the past few days, from Solas's demands; to the Keepers' and their betrayal, came to the fore as her grip on her anger loosened. She let out a roar from almost the depths of her soul, "<em>FENEDHIS</em>!!".</p><p>In the aftermath, Ellana sank down to sit among the rustling grasses as though the shout had drained her of the same energy that had been like a poison in her soul.</p><p>She pulled her knees up to her body and hugged them close as she watched the Fade twist and turn around the small meadow of her mind. She'd attempt to wake up after she took a moment to herself.</p><p>She didn't need to see or hear them to become aware of a new arrival, a new guest to this part of the Fade she crafted.</p><p>"You might as well come out from hiding," Ellana spat. "The drink didn't take and here we both are."</p><p>The wolf slinked out from the treeline, morphing as the light hit its fur into a more demurely dressed Solas.</p><p>"You fight your very nature, Lethallin," he remarked. "The Fade is as much the home of the People as it is of spirits. The elvhen are the link between both."</p><p>"I'm not elvhen. I'm not of your People," Ellana replied dully. "Enough. We've had this conversation too many times as it is."</p><p>Solas said nothing to that, clearly tired of the same argument as she was.</p><p>"You left us quite silent and morose. Sul was worried that he'd said something to upset you," Ellana remarked. "I know your normal state is fatalistic but you seemed slightly more so than usual." She was prodding the wound. A dangerous thing to do to any animal, let alone a wolf. Solas cast a withering glance in her direction.</p><p>"I hope Cullen has improved somewhat from when I knew him," Solas remarked. "He was barely competent enough to run Skyhold, let alone the Inquisition forces back then."</p><p>"I remember your diatribes. I don't know if those 'issues' you were so happy to identify have been fixed and I don't care," she answered before she deliberately added. "We don't spend enough time with him as it is. I'll have to fix that."</p><p>"I think not,"</p><p>"He's been good to Sul. He's been a father to him."</p><p>"And that will cease."</p><p>"No. And don't you fucking dare involve yourself in that part of Sul's life," Ellana roared at him, springing onto to her feet and snarling in his face within a fraction of a second.</p><p>Solas stared at her unblinking. "He's not Sul's father."</p><p>"Cullen is a good man! He's been a great example to Sulahn'nehn, in a world with very few now thanks to you!" She didn't miss the twitch, the curl of his beautiful lips that showed his distaste at her praise of Cullen.</p><p>"I've found tutors from among the People. Those with millennia of experience in everything Sul will need. Those I trust. And I will be teaching him too when I'm present in the city."</p><p>"I don't get a say?!"</p><p>Solas's jaw flexed. "He can barely read and write the Common tongue, a mystery no longer if Cullen was his only teacher until now. He doesn't understand the language of the People, even less than those who once lived in the alienages. Your myths and legends are foreign to him. He doesn't even know about the Dread Wolf. Why is that?"</p><p>Ellana swallowed, knowing what he was implying. "There was no time. We were fighting for survival. Anything that wasn't essential-"</p><p>"Was discarded. I can appreciate that. Now he is here and he will learn many things, including the true histories, from people greater than Cullen."</p><p>She shoved him then, more to express her impotent rage than have any actual effect.</p><p>Her feelings overwhelmed her, twisting the Fade into a cacophony of voices. Screams and shouts, a world lost because of her failure with Solas. She tried desperately to stop the noise and banish Solas from her presence. It had been so long since she'd used magic this way that the motions were halting and unsure.</p><p>Solas easily deflected her poor and haphazard attempt. With one quick move, he grabbed her face in his hands and hauled her close to him.</p><p>Ellana was terrified, unsure of what he was going to do until Solas slammed his lips onto hers.</p><p>His tongue probed her shocked mouth before coaxing her own into a familiar electrifying dance. His grip eased off as Ellana couldn't stop her very soul aching for his touch.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>The storm in the Fade eased off and they parted from each other.</p><p>Ellana now mute and staring at the floor while she attempted to process what had just happened. She became faintly aware of Solas's fingers running along her ears, neck and arms.</p><p>"I don't want to fight," he whispered gently. Ellana choked back a sob that threatened to leave her throat.</p><p>"<em>Ar lath ma, vhenan</em>," he crooned softly next to her right ear as she was pulled into his embrace. "I never stopped. But my duty... the People... Yet I never stopped loving you. I wanted you to plunge that dagger into my chest. To stop me from what I was bound to do."</p><p>"Liar," was Ellana's heartbroken mumbling reply.</p><p>He tilted her head to face his, eyes meeting so they could see each other. "I've made it easy to see me as a monster. As a liar. But here in the Fade, you'd know if I was being deceptive."</p><p>"How?" she snapped. "You're a master of this place while I'm an infrequent visitor."</p><p>"They'd tell you," he murmured back, resting his forehead on hers.</p><p>Ellana's eyes flickered briefly as she spotted the telltale winking glow of countless wisps.They flitted around her, soft voices chiming together like music.</p><p>"They came here for you," Solas replied, seeing the confusion in her eyes. "They are the ones who hid you from me. You and Sul both. Nothing I could say would convince them to give up information about you."</p><p>"I don't understand... they kept my secret?"</p><p>"The wisps do as they wish. They know the hearts of all. Ask them. Ask them if I've lied here in this place to you, <em>vhenan</em>. They'd tell you."</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Before any words could be said, the meadow vanished. It's replacement was a barren wasteland, filled with ash and dust clouding the air.</p><p>Solas released his hold on Ellana who was equally dumbstruck at what the wisps had pulled from the Fade.</p><p>"Wait..." she whispered. "I know this place."</p><p>"Haven," was Solas's quiet reply. Not the Haven they remembered. But what remained after the collapse of the world.</p><p>The toppled cathedral was a crumbling ruin, the wooden village had been swept away in the avalanche, leaving only foundations and random debris. It had not escaped the Fall, covered in dust and ash that layered across the land as the snow had once done years before.</p><p>The lake before it bubbled with a dark and viscous mix from whatever impurities had made their way inside.</p><p>In spite of this, the place was not devoid of occupants.</p><p>A number of mages stood in tattered robes casting their magic where they hoped none would find them. Within a sealed bubble of magic, they were trapping wisps.</p><p>A robed and masked figure trudged up the slight hillside and stopped. It watched the mages at work, dancing hands and fingers leashing passing wisps and dragging them into the trap. A perfect crystal orb.</p><p>"They were... making a focus?" Solas remarked in confusion. "But the wisps..."</p><p>Before he could make any further judgements, the robed figure attacked. Staff twirling and spinning, shields cast almost as soon as they failed until all but one of the mages remained.</p><p>He too soon fell but not before attempting a final attack, one that knocked the hood from the intruder's head and singed the perfect blonde hair still in a perfect braid.</p><p>Ellana spun once more and used the momentum to bring her staff down heavily on the mage's head.</p><p>But for the howling winds and distant shuddering of Thedas itself under the weight of an immortal war, there was briefly silence in Haven. This Ellana carefully approached this strange forming focus, expression turning to sorrow under the weight of seeing the poor lost wisps clamoring for their freedom.</p><p>Ellana took her staff and smashed it against the orb. It took a number of goes but finally it shattered. The wisps escaped in an exhale of the Fade itself, the world rippling at their joy as they found themselves free.</p><p>Then they returned. To Ellana. She leaned against a nearby ruined wall, one hand on her lower back while the other supported her protruding belly full of young life. She listened for a moment, nodding as the wisps echoed around her.</p><p>"No," she finally croaked. "Don't thank me.<em> Ir abelas</em>.<em> Ir abelas</em>, dear little ones, that they would try to do such a thing to you. You must all be more careful. Stay away from those who'd hurt you."</p><p>Ellana stopped and listened once more. "You are sure? They are on the far side? But of course... the Dales. They've gone home. <em>Ma serannas</em>! <em>Ma serannas... </em>I'll find them yet<em>.</em>"</p><p>She attempted to start to move once more but let out a hiss. "<em>Da'len.</em>.. you need to wait," she gasped. "This place isn't safe... arggghg!"</p><p>The plane of her stomach moved like a wave as the first true contraction hit her. Ellana fell to her knees with the pain. "Not here," she moaned. "Not in this... graveyard."</p><p>As another contraction hit, Ellana accepted the truth. The child was coming whether she liked it or not.</p><p>For their part, the wisps became frenzied, trying to help in their own ways. Some found her shelter, a spot hidden, warm and protected from the world outside. Others found left over linens, cloths and drapes from when the village was a hub of Chantry activity.</p><p>In spite of her labor, Ellana soon set up a small camp with a blazing fire that heated water for what she expected would be a long delivery.</p><p>She walked and paced. Naked, vulnerable, and tired. But the contractions continued and the pain did not ebb.</p><p>Hours marched by as the wisps floated in her wake, some keeping watch for danger while others wished simply to be near her to offer comfort.</p><p>Finally it was time.</p><p>On her knees in the middle of the abandoned cathedral where all this had first started years before, Ellana pushed and heaved.</p><p>Her hands were between her slim thighs as she reached and felt the head finally emerge. The rest of him followed in a rush of liquid and baby which she caught in her waiting hands.</p><p>He was beautiful. And small.</p><p>He let out a indignant cry, a wail of displeasure for leaving the safety and comfort of his mother for the cold dusty reality of Thedas.</p><p>Ellana carefully used a damp cloth to clean away what she could before she held him tightly to her bare chest.</p><p>"<em>Ma lath</em>," she sobbed, tears pouring down her cheeks. "<em>ma lath</em>..."</p><p>Alone but for the wisps, hidden in the remains of her past, Ellana cried for all that she and this new young life had lost.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>"No. No more. No more..." Ellana waved a hand and dispelled the memory that the wisps had pulled to the Fade. "It was what it was. It is done."</p><p>Solas reached out for her free hand, tamping down on his upset when she rejected it. "You shouldn't have been alone for this, <em>vhenan</em>. How did it come to be so? Where were the others?"</p><p>She ignored him, holding instead a number of wisps in the cup of her hand before letting them float away.</p><p>"Ellana?"</p><p>"Sorry. What did you say?"</p><p>Solas stepped closer. "Why were you alone?"</p><p>"I wished to be. After we lost, I went with Dorian to Tevinter. The shields he'd created needed to be readied and villages warned... emptied. I was there when it happened. When you destroyed the world... I learned I was pregnant and I couldn't... I needed my family. The Free Marches had been vacated except for the cities. Cullen, Cassandra, and Sera were heading to Ferelden as the pass to Orlais was essentially just liquid fire thanks to Veil Fall. I'd heard rumors of Dalish having been seen moving south so I went with them."</p><p>Ellana strolled forward, walking towards the still bubbling lake before the destroyed Haven. "They wished me to stay. Even Sera. But Ferelden didn't hold any of the Clans. I hoped more than anything that perhaps I could reach Skyhold and search from there. Which is how I ended up here at Haven once more."</p><p>"I had sent messengers. Agents to find you. You slipped away so quickly at the battle that I had no time to..." Solas stopped his rambling. "I believed none would survive. But when so many did, I was desperate to know if you lived. The wisps have always been allies. Friends since I was once among their number. They denied my every petition for information."</p><p>Solas watched in wonder as the wisps kept at Ellana's heels, humming and chiming happily just in the aura of her presence. "I now know why. They think of you as their closest ally. As a friend. You saved some of their number from destruction. You offer kindness where others give apathy or worse."</p><p>She stopped, bare-feet sinking a fraction into the layered ash and dust. Her blonde hair was long and loose, flowing with the false Fade breeze as the wisps darted among its strands playfully. "They are like children. Children of an absent parent. How could anyone ignore them," Ellana replied. "I'd like to wake up now, Solas. Before the other memories start." Her gaze was set at the horizon and the dark storm clouds gathering.</p><p>"Of course. <em>Vhenan</em>?" He didn't miss the way she flinched. "I will send for Cullen and Cassandra in the morning. And I will try to.. accept that which I have no control over. I make no guarantees. But I must insist on the tutors."</p><p>Ellana glanced over her shoulder at him, nodded, then woke up.</p>
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<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Just A Little Bend</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Ellana is left a little baffled by sudden events...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She was exhausted.</p><p>Just so very terribly tired and drained. Since early that morning, Ellana had been reviewing tutors with Solas. Not just reviewing but... meeting them.</p><p>He was so insistent, demanding her opinion on their personalities, how she felt about them, and more importantly how she felt they would match with Sul.</p><p>For her part, Ellana wasn't quite sure. Dalish education was far different. She grew up learning what was needed for survival first, with a minimum of hours spent during the week with the Keeper to learn to read and write. Of course when her magic came in, her education became something else entirely.</p><p>She struggled through this torture however and by sunset, they had a final list.</p><p>It was night now, with stars glittering in the endless dark outside the windows. Sul was long since in bed. He'd curled up with a book and the old wooden toy that Deshanna had given him when he'd been just a toddler. She'd been amused at how quickly he'd taken to such creature comforts like the tall and comfortable bed considering his inital distress just two days prior.</p><p>Ellana glanced through the parchment in her hands, still boggled by what was being lined up for her child. He was going to be taught history by an elvhen archivist who was so ancient that it seemed he'd personally lived through all the ages of Thedas. He taught Solas himself when he'd first walked out from the Fade and became one of the people.</p><p>He had tutors for mathematics, languages and the archaic elvhen sciences. He even had a mentor for what seemed to be social niceties from what she could understand. Solas was preparing him she realized. For when he'd be acknowledged.</p><p>It burned in her craw a little that he wasn't apparently good enough to recognize now. Ellana tempered that anger with the knowledge that if she worked her plan carefully enough, they'd be gone before Solas could do that.</p><p>They'd vanish into Thedas and disappear.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Ellana shrugged off the blanket she'd wrapped around herself and abandoned the small sofa.</p><p>She walked barefoot to the warm cooker, checking the water she'd put on just a few minutes before. Finding it suitable hot, Ellana finally made her tea in a ridiculously ornate cup.</p><p>She'd just held it briefly in both hands and taken a sip when there was a knock on the door.</p><p>"Enter," she replied automatically, blinking in surprise as Solas stepped in. He himself completely stalled, face and ears turning puce.</p><p>She knew why and yet didn't care. Dalish grew up with little distinction about nudity between the sexes. And she wasn't completely naked. It just what she wore was very sheer in comparison to typical night clothing.</p><p>Ellana strolled back to the sofa wordlessly and retrieved the blanket to wrap around her shoulders. She curled up on the sofa with tea in hand, knowing that Solas was watching every move of her body with his own taunt with nervous tension.</p><p>She wondered if it was because of the changes to her because of the years of struggling, a thought that struck her as she caught his gaze drifting to her very visible ribs. There was a slight improvement since they'd arrived here to the excesses of Arlathan, a fact she hated to admit.<br/>
<br/>
"May I sit?" Solas finally asked quietly.</p><p>Ellana gestured to the other sofa before sipping her tea.</p><p>"Sul?" Solas asked once he seated himself.</p><p>"Asleep. He was worn out."</p><p>He nodded, eyes flickering to Ellana's slim legs curled up under her but still exposed to his admiring gaze. He swallowed, a very visible gesture before he tore his gaze away. "I hoped to remove his bracelet starting tomorrow."</p><p>Ellana stiffened. "I don't think that's wise."</p><p>"Hear me out at least," Solas replied instantly. "There are a number of magically reinforced training rooms through out the complex. I hoped to remove it there and work with him. To teach him to use his gifts currently denied to him. I'll have it replaced upon leaving. At least until he's gained control, of both magic and dreaming."</p><p>"Maybe he's not a somnari. Will that disappoint?"</p><p>Solas looked flustered as though he hadn't thought of that. "... no. It would change nothing," he replied.</p><p>"Good."</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Ellana picked back up the list and glanced over it once more, casually drinking tea in silence.</p><p>"I've retrieved word from Ferelden."</p><p>She didn't look up from the list. "Oh?"</p><p>"Cullen and Cassandra. They were given leave by King Alistair. They will arrive likely in two days time."</p><p>Ellana nodded slowly before she replied, "Great. Sul will be so happy with that news."</p><p>"I've assigned them rooms near here. That way they can be within easy reach."</p><p>She finally lifted her eyes to Solas, seeing his gaze was intense. "You're building to ask me something that I won't like. What is it?"</p><p>The telltale flicker of his jaw, the twitch of the nerve that from it up to his right ear told her she was right.</p><p>"I wish to... tell him."</p><p>Ellana blinked. "Tell who what?"</p><p>"You're not going to make this easy, are you... I intend on telling Sul I'm his father before their arrival."</p><p>She was dumbfounded. "We talked not one day ago and you said that informing him was not a possibility at this moment in time."</p><p>"I've had time to think on it. And discuss with some close advisers."</p><p>Ellana narrowed her eyes. "This is over Cullen."</p><p>A dismissive snort that erupted from his nostrils. "I will admit that he and Sul's closeness has colored my own opinion."</p><p>"Solas... let's be clear here. This isn't a game."</p><p>His gaze locked once more on hers, his full attention on her for once. "I know it's not."</p><p>"Sul is not something you can pick up for now, then discard later. I won't let you treat him like you treated me. He's... he's always wondered about his father. He needs someone to look up to, to take care of him. If we do this, it's forever, Solas. Not a passing fancy."</p><p>"I'm aware," he replied softly. "I know I've not exactly been a role model in how I've dealt with problems in the past. I've never been a father. Through all the ages of Arlathan and Thedas I lived through, not once have I had a child."</p><p>"Or one you've known about perhaps?"</p><p>"No. I ensured there were no children through the use of magics and potions. I rendered myself quite sterile. I clearly did not consider my lengthy uthenera or the Veil would make those useless." Solas cast his gaze over Ellana's shoulder, to a spot she imagined he could see the closed door to Sul's room. "Yet I find myself immeasurably grateful that it did. I only find my thoughts bend towards grief that I was not there earlier. For you both."</p><p>Ellana laughed. "I wouldn't have let you anywhere near us."</p><p>"I imagine you'd have tried," Solas replied before getting to his feet. "I'd like you to think it over. I know I've been very... demanding. It's been a trying time. I'll be leaving soon for a few weeks."</p><p>"Oh? Where are you going?" Ellana asked but her brain even registered what she was asking.</p><p>"The last act to set the world to right," Solas murmured softly before he leaned over her on the sofa.</p><p>Ellana froze as Solas brushed his fingertips along her cheek. "Please... think on what I've said. I want... I wish to spend time with him before I leave. May I see him?"</p><p>"He's asleep."</p><p>Solas's hand drifted away from her cheek. "I know. I just... I find myself wishing to remember every inch of his face. To hold it in my memory. I'd like to check on him if you'd allow it."</p><p>Ellana nodded slowly, unsure of what to make of the look on Solas's face. She'd never seen it before. He seemed almost distraught.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>He slipped away from her, his feet moving as quietly as a whisper to Sul's bedroom door before peering inside. His entire body seemed to shudder with relief as a long held breath left him.</p><p>Sul was curled up, lost blissfully in sleep with book upended on the floor when it slipped from weary hands while the wooden doll remained locked in the curve of his arms.</p><p>"What did you expect?"</p><p>Solas glanced behind him, locking eyes with a confused Ellana whose voice had spoken those words so softly.</p><p>"My dreams are nothing but nightmares. I rather not discuss what terrors the demons of the Fade decided to inflict me with over Sul."</p><p>Before she could press further, Solas stepped into the room, adjusted the boy and his blankets until he was fully snug and secure. He then gently pressed a kiss to Sul's head through ruffled auburn hair before reluctantly stepping outside.</p><p>"Do they... know? Have they discovered our existence?"</p><p>Solas, after casting one last glance at Sul before he shut the door, shook his head. "No. I mean... not that I know of. It will only be a matter of time I fear. I must readjust."</p><p>"Is that why you're leaving soon?"</p><p>"I leave to press what advantages I have." He turned to face her. "I've limited time. There is great risk in what I do as always. I would like to give what knowledge I have to him before I must depart."</p><p>Ellana couldn't stop the stab of panic, brief and unexpected, that ran through her heart. "You don't think you're coming back from this..."</p><p>"There is always that risk. Elgar'nan's stronghold is complex. What armies he has remaining are loyal and tenacious. With Andruil and Ghilan'nain at his side, it will be... difficult."</p><p>"What do you know?! What has changed in that last few hours that's driven this?!" Ellana gushed, unable to stop herself from demanding answers. "Is Sul at risk?!"</p><p>"He's not. Should the worst occur, I've provided for you both."</p><p>"Then tell me!"</p><p>Solas stared at her intently, eyes glinting in the faint light. "We found a spy. Dangerously close to these rooms. It was only through the astuteness of my own network that they were discovered at all. It was clear however. They were investigating you and Sul. Who you are and why you are here but have discovered only the tale I weaved before our arrival."</p><p>Time seemed to slow for her as Solas's words seeped into her mind. "No..." she murmured.</p><p>"I wish I had better news. Be reassured that you are in no immediate danger. The informant has been moved and is being exposed to carefully vetted information. Ir abelas but I do have go. There is much to do before my departure. I'll return in the morning and perhaps we can discuss my absence in more detail. Good night."</p><p>Before Ellana could react, Solas pressed a light kiss to her forehead before slipping from the room and back to wherever it was he stalked in his absences from them.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Morning came and Ellana's concerns were not soothed.</p><p>Sul was eagerly going through a small treasure chest full of books sent that very day by Solas, gifts before he started his lessons.</p><p>It was shortly after its arrival that Solas returned, dark circles under his eyes from lack of rest. But even still he mustered a bright smile as Sul greeted him eagerly.</p><p>"Hahren Solas!! Ma serranas for the books! There's so many!"</p><p>"Ah, well... I saw your eagerness for knowledge and I'm honored to help you gain more. Did you rest well?"</p><p>Sul nodded, smile beaming while his hands clutched a large tome tightly to his chest.</p><p>"Sul?" Ellana called softly. "Hahren Solas is... he's taking you for a lesson today."</p><p>She watched the surprise cross Solas's face at her words. "Oh??!" Sul chirped brightly.</p><p>"He's going to teach you how to use magic. To do that, you'll go to a special training room and you'll have to take your bracelet off."</p><p>"Really?!" Sul turned his head and the full force of his beautiful smile at Solas. "Ma serranas, hahren!! I'm... Do I have magic? I've never had it before."</p><p>Solas knelt, gently taking Sul's shoulders in his hands. "I'm certain of it. It's part of the People. It's a part of you."</p><p>"When do we start?!" Sul was practically jumping at this stage, bouncing on his bare-feet with excitement.</p><p>"Now... if Solas can spare the time," Ellana answered, sipping her tea as the pair turned to her; Solas with a look of desperate relief and Sul that of pure excitement. "Just be back before noon. I'll have lunch ready. Would you like to join us. Solas?"</p><p>"I'd be a fool not to."</p><p>"Well then... see you both later," Ellana added with a sly smile. As Sul bounded to his room to put away his new books, Solas suddenly reached out and grabbed Ellana's hand.</p><p>"I... I don't..."</p><p>Ellana pointedly jabbed the finger of her free hand at his chest above his heart.</p><p>"Sul deserves to know you. And if you really believe there is a chance that you may not return then he needs to know you now. Disclosure we'll have to talk about. If there's any risk... any chance that Sul could be a target simply by knowing, then it will have to wait until you return. He's too important. It'd kill me entirely if something happened to take him from me. Understand?"</p>
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<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Old Friends</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Look at you! I think you've gotten taller!" Cullen chuckled warmly before he opened his arms wide.</p><p>Sulahn'nehn beamed and set off at a sprint, his bare feet driving him forward at speed, before he barreled into Cullen's waiting arms.</p><p>"Glad to see you remember me!"Cullen laughed as he spun Sul around, the boy's legs flinging out wide as they twirled. "Let me get a good look at you," he added, popping the giggling Sul back on his feet, kneeling down to match his height.<br/><br/>Cullen pressed the forefinger of his right hand on Sul's nose, pushing gently as he exclaimed, "You're looking more like your Mamae every day."</p><p>"Hehehe! Hahren Solas says the same!" Sul chirped, eyes glittering like stars and cheeks flushed red with happiness.</p><p>The mention of that name however had the opposite effect on Cullen as the joy of their reunion died. He rose to his feet rapidly and immediately noticed what he'd missed at the beginning when Sul had taken up his attention. Solas stood beside the uncomfortable Ellana with a grim look on his face as he glared back at Cullen.</p><p>"You..." Cullen muttered caustically. "I'd hoped we'd never meet again."</p><p>"You know, hahren Solas?!" Sul chirped, causing Cullen to snap out of his not undeserved rage at the ancient elvhen. He peered down at Sul who was still full of joy. "I know him, Sul."</p><p>"We all know him, little one," Cassandra added dourly as she arrived to their side, in attire less grand than last seen as her days as a Seeker were long over.</p><p>"Oh?" Sul answered, his face creasing with worry at the unconcealed anger in the pair as they focused once more on Solas. For his part, Solas glared back with even greater indignation.</p><p>"Sulahn'nehn, come here."</p><p>Sul immediately acted on his mother's call and went to her side.</p><p>Ellana grabbed his hand, locking it firmly in her own, before she addressed her dear friends. "It's so good to see you both. We're going to leave now. Let you reacquaint yourself with Solas. When you're done, I'll have tea ready in our rooms."</p><p>She tugged Sul's hand and pulled the confused boy with her down the hall.</p><p>As Ellana turned the corner in the hall that led to their rooms, she caught one last glimpse of the confrontation. One she regretted seeing as she saw Cullen drawing his sword.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Whatever happened next, she would never fully know. A mere hour later (at least she guessed), Cassandra and Cullen rapped on the wooden door of their rooms.</p><p>Neither looked worse for wear, although Cullen couldn't stop the sour expression on his face even as he indulged Sul with his attention.</p><p>It was when the pair briefly stepped out of the living space, as Sul demanded to show Cullen all of what Solas had given him, that Ellana managed to press Cassandra for more information.</p><p>"What happened out there?" she eagerly queried. "Clearly you didn't get into too bad a scuffle."</p><p>Cassandra swallowed, whatever words she wanted to say thick in her throat. "Solas made some things extremely clear. We're here on sufferance only. We're here... to keep you both happy."</p><p>"Sorry?"</p><p>"Ellana, you're not dim," Cassandra spat back a little more harshly than intended. "He has no great love for either of us. Respect perhaps. But whatever he feels is sorely lacking in particular for Cullen. How did you end up here? I thought you intended on staying far away?"</p><p>Ellana snorted. "The Keepers. Solas's agents came with promises and honeyed words to the Dales. He found me out. Then he found my joy. It was..." she shook her head. "... it was too late. Now we are here."</p><p>"Is there anything we can do to help?" her friend said lowly, the conversation now moving to whispers in fear of listening ears.</p><p>"Not yet. I must figure this place out first. I'm working on a way to freedom. How long have you been given to stay?"</p><p>"A bare three days. And only that. The Wolf was extremely clear on that in the hallway."</p><p>Ellana huffed. "Of course he was. How is Ferelden?"</p><p>"As it normally is," Cassandra replied. "It looks like it will be a good crop this year. The remaining Orlais refugees will likely be crossing back home in the next few months once the weather stabilizes."</p><p>"Is that wise? Orlais was not in good shape the last I saw of it."</p><p>Cassandra shrugged. "They're homesick. I do not deny I feel the same. Empress Celene has bargained with the Wolf. We may see a restored Orlais yet."</p><p>Before either could react, the main door opened with a sudden ferocity that left both stunned. It was Solas who strode in purposefully. "Where is Sulahn'nehn?" he barked to Ellana's ire.</p><p>"He's showing Cullen his room. Not that it matters to you."</p><p>Solas's jaw flexed before he let out a deep breath. "I apologize for my abruptness, Ellana," he added carefully, tempering whatever it was that was driving this suddenness. "It's time for Sul's lesson."</p><p>Ellana blinked, watching in muted astonishment as Solas appeared... anxious. He was always so calm, careful to hide away any semblance of emotion behind a wall of indifference. Only anger was often to leak out. But as she watched him flex his hands reflexively, feet twitching in position as though full of nervous energy, she realized how close to the edge of control he was.</p><p>"Could we speak outside? In the hall?" she quickly asked, surmising that perhaps it was Cullen's presence that had done this and needing to prevent any emotional outburst that could affect Sul.</p><p>Solas seemed to know where her mind drifted and merely nodded. As he stepped into the hallway, Ellana quietly asked Cassandra to send Sul out to them after a few minutes.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>"Has Cullen's mere presence put you into this state?" Ellana remarked drily as they stood alone in the darkened hall.</p><p>The snarl Solas barely concealed told her all she needed to know even as he spat out, "I'll not apologize for my feelings."</p><p>"I never asked you to."</p><p>"Yet you peer at me as though I've no right at all to experience any of this. Sul's mine! He's mine and I've... I'm playing second fiddle to an barely competent human who spent a significant portion of his life tormenting people just like Sul!"</p><p>Ellana wanted to shout. Wanted to scream and roar at him about all the things he'd done. That this deep feeling of severance he was experiencing over Sul and Cullen was not one tenth of what he actually deserved.</p><p>But looking at him, seeing the torture in his face... Ellana couldn't do bring herself to salt his wounds.</p><p>Instead she reached out hesitantly and took one of his hands in her own. "Stop. Just stop."</p><p>Solas stared down at where their hands were joined, his thumb starting to making caressing circles on her skin.</p><p>"I could say a lot of things, Solas. I really could," she said softly, watching his face contort as he tried to rein himself back in. "But I won't. You are his father and I'd rather that we got through these few days in relative peace. If that means you need to go somewhere to vent or control yourself than that's what you have to do. Once its over, then you can tell Sul yourself."</p><p>Solas peered at her, eyes widening at what she'd said. "You've fought me to a standstill on this every day leading to this point."</p><p>"And here we stand today, with you an emotional mess. You promise me that you'll hold your silence till after they leave and I'll stand with you to tell him the truth."</p><p>Ellana slowly retracted her hand, letting out a little squeak of surprise as he snagged it back, yanking her hard against him before pressing his lips to hers.</p><p>For a moment she was too stunned to react, his tongue prying open her lips before coaxing her own into a familiar dance. When she finally regained her senses, she shoved him backwards.</p><p>"Creators, Solas!" she hissed. "That wasn't an invitation!"</p><p>Ellana let out another gasp as her back was pressed against the cool marble wall. Solas pinned her there, this time content to nuzzle the side of her face and neck, murmuring soft words in ancient elvhen that she couldn't quite understand. She could make out the intentions, from the tone of voice and the way he clamped himself to her.</p><p>Ellana had never really taken his claims of his love for her seriously. At least not after their first true battle against each other in the depths of the Deep Roads when he'd shattered her heart again into even more fragments.</p><p>The memory assailed her in full force. What remained of her heart she fancied was weeping blood as it felt speared through with a sheering pain.</p><p>Ellana stiffened, every muscle contracting, before she once more extracted herself from Solas's embrace.</p><p>"Don't..." she murmured, tears now streaming down her cheeks as she tried to find some way to stop them. "Don't touch me!"</p><p>Solas reached out, their positions having swapped in mere seconds to where he was needing to comfort her.</p><p>"Vhenan, ple-"</p><p>"DON'T CALL ME THAT!" she roared, scaring even herself with the ferocity of the shout. "You don't get to say that to me! You don't get to claim that of me! You LEFT! You abandoned everyone. You abandoned us! You all but ordered my execution! Your plans should have left me dead and you didn't care! It's no thanks to you that I and Sul exist at all! Of all people on Thedas, you have the least claim to me!"</p><p>Solas remained silent. Ellana turned away, physically shaking at the storm of emotions that churned inside her. Cursing herself internally, angry that he could still hurt her like this.</p><p>Hadn't she purged this out of herself? Hadn't she hardened that heart against him?</p><p>Once more, Solas had made a fool of her. Would she ever learn, she berated herself. Ellana wiped away the last of the tears then pressed her forehead against the now welcome coolness of the marble column she faced.</p><p>It was a hand first. One that slipped around her waist. Then the press of his body against her back while his other arm slipped over her left shoulder and wrapped itself just under her neck and pulled her flush once more against him.</p><p>"Ir abelas," he whispered softly. "Ir abelas, vhenan."</p><p>Ellana shrugged him off her with a snarl. She gave one last rub of her face with the sleeves of her light tunic before she opened the door and called Sul to her. She quickly sent the bemused but happy child on his way with Solas.</p><p>For all that happy commotion, Ellana did not miss the way Solas stared at her even as she wore her smiling face for Sul.</p><p>No one in fact could miss the dawning comprehension in his eyes as he realized the size and scale of the chasm he'd rended in her heart.</p>
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